Sunday, April 21, 2013

The Utopian moment in youth sports ....... may only last for a moment

 
Little Ray is so excited.  His first basketball game in his life with all his 3rd grade buddies is today. 
He cannot wait to get to the gym.  He has waited so long for this day.  His basketball career is about to begin.

Little Ray could hardly sleep all night knowing the big game was today.  Although he usually likes to sleep in on Saturday mornings today was too special.  He jumped out of bed 30 minutes earlier than normal quickly putting on his new jersey. He took another quick look at his new basketball and basketball shoes already packed in a special gear bag.  Little Ray raced out to the kitchen and packed his water all by himself without anyone even asking.  It almost seemed a nuisance that he had to take the time to eat breakfast.  He never ate so fast. 

And now the drive to the gym.  Little Ray thinks about other things in his life that have been so great.  Maybe this moment rivals Disneyland, or the pizza party on his birthday.  Thoughts of Christmas at Grandmas house peer into his mind.  What is taking so long?

Finally Little Ray has arrived at the gym.  It is so huge.  How cool.  He races inside to find his friends. He sees his best friend,  then another, and one more until finally all his buddies are there, all wearing the same brand new jersey.  Little Ray scrambles to be the first one to get on his shoes.  Then he and his teammates all run over to the hoop to take some warmup shots.  He is on the tip of his toes the whole time.  He doesnt even care if he makes a shot. The team then gets in a huddle and says a loud and enthusiastic cheer.  "One, two, three, Team!!!"  Little Ray decked out in his brand new jersey breaks out of the huddle and heads out with 4 of his best buddies ready for the first jump ball of his life.   The excitement, the enthusiasm, the raw emotion, the moment he has been waiting so long for and .......then ....the jump ...ba....ll. 

Hey! Who are all these people and why are they yelling?



Sunday, January 20, 2013

The redistribution of youth sports. Repairing decades of injustice for the betterment of the game.



  I propose a new way to make youth basketball better.  For all.  Because after years and years of doing it the same way, we are getting the same results.  Lets look at the facts:

Players that are taller have an  advantage over shorter players.  Players that are faster and can jump higher have an advantage over those that are slower and weaker. Practicing is bad and uses up resources that cannot be replaced.  Injuries tear at the fabric of our sport and must be dealt with.  The basketball itself is dangerous and must be improved. 

These facts have been known for gererations yet noone has had the courage to stand up and fight for the short and the slow, the tired, the endangered, and the victimized.  The time is now to take some bold steps toward making our great game better  so everyone can enjoy a piece of success for generations to come. 

Height. What did a person do to earn their height? Nothing. They didnt earn it. They just got it. I propose to score the game differently. A fresher look. Prior to each game each players height will be measured and compared. When the taller team scores they will get 2 points and the shorter team 1. For every basket the shorter team scores they will get 4 points. In addition, the rim on the taller teams half of the court shall be 5 feet higher than the shorter teams rim.

Phyical ability.  Most of those that are enjoying success at the highest levels were born with a golden shoe on their foot.  They could jump higher and run faster.  It is unfair to the rest of those in the game.  To correct this injustice, I propose we measure the vertical leap and speed of every player each year.  For every inch of vertical leap over 12" and for every tenth of a second under a 5 second 40 I propose we add 4 pounds of weight to the better players  shoes thus levelling the playing field.  So we do not lose the integrity of the game we will cap it at 50 lbs of added weight per shoe. 

I propose we form a committee to watch over the God given height, speed, and jumping ability of each player to study and monitor progress and give future recommendations.  I mean, have a heart. 

Practicing.  Practice is bad.  It systematically uses up today's energy for some mythical utopian experience in the future.  These are false hopes and expectations.  Scientists agree that for every minute of energy conserved today by reducing practice time,  2 minutes will be added to the players life span.  So there will be a limit to how much each player can practice.  For every hour of practice time desired only 45 minutes will be given.  During the remaining 15 minutes of practice the players gym shoes will be taken.  In addition, only 6 hours of practice time will be allowed each week.  Conserving each persons energy now will not only help everyone have equal opportunity to be good, but insure that everyone leads a healthier and longer life.  Conserve today for a better tomorrow.  We need a committee. 

Half court shots are few and far between.  Some would say they are endangered.  Taking a half court shot is thus disallowed so as for them not to become extinct.  In my view if you don't take a half court shot the limited supply will not be used up.  We must take steps to repopulate our supply of half court shots. 

We will use a running clock that does not end.  If the game keeps going there cannot be a winner and loser. 

Injuries.  Injuries are hereby forbidden. 

The basketball.  The basketball is dangerous.  The harder it is bounced on the floor the faster it ricochets back towards not only the dribbler but potentially any other innocent victim within passing distance.    As a result we must design a safer basketball.  One that does not bounce.  One that the player can carry and carefully drop in the basket without incidence.  Once passed, anyone in possession of an illegally air filled basketball may return it for a flat one. 

So in the end  we have a committee formed,  regulations designed to even the playing field, safety nets for those things on the endangered list, no false timetable for completion, rules outlawing injuries, and the protection of all participants from cowhide violence.  There is no doubt that these proposed  improvements will not only help everyone enjoy the great game of basketball evenly and fairly but motivate those that for years have been discriminated against.  Now everyone has an equal chance.