I have had
some good conversations with some high school coaches over the last week or so
at our league. One of the general themes discussed was “trusting” a
player.
A good high
school coach (notice I said “good”) has a strong summer program. That
program in many respects is the beginning of when a coach looks to get an idea
of who he or she can trust. That trust is developed partly by the skill
the player has, the mental toughness the player shows, the level of
commitment to the program that the player shows , the work ethic displayed, and
the quality of parents. (I have had several college coaches in our
gym looking at some of our local athletes. One of the first questions
they ask is concerning the quality of parents).
Starting in 9th
grade kids that don’t show up to open gyms, lifting, scheduled team
events, regularly tend to fall behind in the trust factor.
Parents that try to stand between the coach and the kid in the communication
flow can harm the trust. Parents that email, call, oversell their
kid to the coach or AD can do some major damage in the trust factor. If
you place yourself between the coach and your child the coach may not be able
to see what you think you see. Everytime they look at your child they may
only be able to see you.
By 9th
grade at a minimum a kid needs to be a stand-alone product so to speak.
One without baggage or strings attached. Kids starting as freshman need
to learn that they stand between the coach and their parents.
Anything the parents need to know should come from the player. Anything
the coach needs to know should come from the player. No more team
moms or personal handlers allowed. The biggest frustrations coming
from high school coaches that I hear is the dealings with overbearing
parents. A good coach wants to work with the kids. Not a group of
parents.
I am hearing
about three Stunners in particular that are impressing their high school coach
because they are at everything offered in their summer programs. In
addition, the three sets of parents of those kids are giving the process of
trust building between the player and coach some space to grow.
It is not surprising that after a long summer and by the start of
the high school season that the high school coaches play the kids they
trust. . Usually the top 8 kids. So out of 4 grades in high
school (approx. 40 kids), a high school coach in many respects looks for
just 8 . That is possibly 2 kids per grade level.
Obviously the
conclusions that can be concluded upon is to use your time and energy
wisely. The most important product in high school athletics is the
players strengths and abilities. Not the words, experiences,
strengths, abilities, or attempted manipulations of parents. To
help your product (your child) build trust in the market place of high school
athletics develop your child as a stand-alone product that the coach can easily
see without looking around you.
